"PYRRHIC VICTORY" OFFICIALLY RENAMED "BUSH VICTORY"

June 2, 2003 - London - Unanimously agreeing to alter their resources to better correspond to the most precise definition available, the editorial teams of Webster's, Random House, and Oxford English dictionaries unveiled plans today to replace the entry "Pyrrhic Victory," with the more accurate "Bush Victory" in their next editions.

"We were attempting to best define this new type of military 'success' the Bushes have created," said Random House Dictionary editorial staff member Steve Carlson. "We discussed the Bushes' 'success' in kicking Russia out of Afghanistan by arming Osama bin Laden, their 'success' in helping Iraq's Saddam Hussein beat Iran in the Iran-Iraq War, and now the grand 'success' of Operation Iraqi Freedom, and the word 'Pyrrhic' came up so many times that we all realized something had to be changed."